


The Rough Nights Ain't Leaving

by cxhztile



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Bliss, Fatherhood, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, Trans Male Character, it's just soft shit ok, it's very vaguely implied bill's trans yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:42:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29796219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxhztile/pseuds/cxhztile
Summary: Ah, yes. Me, my best friend / fiancé, and his 75 lbs golden retriever. Would be a shame if our daughters woke up and caused a fuss.(AKA dad!Bill to the rescue)
Relationships: Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	The Rough Nights Ain't Leaving

**Author's Note:**

> alright boys buckle up for the explanation of my brain canon. this ain't great but i needed to get it out of my system because all i've been thinking about for days is them being dads. also should preface that. bill is trans (ftm) here and it is. implied that he had the girls (who are twins in this case) so if it's not something you're big on i totally get that thank you for stopping by at least <3 title is a lyric from ["welcome to the family"](https://youtu.be/wEqs91ZCAgc) by watsky :-)

“Brody, move over, you dickweed…” Bill grumbled, winced as a long, thin tail beat against his ribs like a drum.

“Don’t be mean…” His fiancé sleepily muttered, fingers looped in thick golden curls— those of Brody, not Bill, of course.

Bill propped himself up on his elbow to look over the behemoth lying between them and scowl, although Ted seemed unperturbed, slightly smiling as Brody licked all around his nose. In spite of having upgraded to a king sized mattress, the pair of them barely fit in bed whenever their oversized golden retriever decided he wanted to sleep with them instead of on his massive pillow bed tucked into the corner of the bedroom by their dresser. Sure, Bill loved him, but he was most _definitely_ Ted’s dog and in return, Ted was his _favorite_ person, not caring much if, say, he bruised a couple of ribs while wagging his tail affectionately. Bill was just about to groan and roll over or move onto the living room couch when he heard a faint sob from the room over and sighed as he threw aside the covers, assuring Ted with a simple hand gesture that he had it under control. For a moment he thought about kicking around the dirty laundry on the floor to throw a pair of sweatpants over his boxers but the far off crying was getting louder by the second so he decided to forgo pants, gingerly slipping the door shut as he stepped into their half living area, half nursery. 

As expected, sweet, sweet Thea was standing along the edge of her crib with big bright tears clouding her blue eyes and was whining as if something had just bitten her. Her sniffling somewhat lessened as she saw her father approach but tears were still running down her pink cheeks and she clung one hand to the back of his neck as he scooped her up, the other clutching her pink rabbit toy to her chest. Her blanket was strewn across her mattress so Bill fit her snug into the crook of his left arm and reached for the blanket with his right hand, planning to swaddle in it once he got her calmed down. He fell onto the couch across the room with a small thud, one that was large enough to make Thea suck in enough air on the way down that she hiccuped as he settled her into his lap, earning a kiss on top of her head as an apology. Once she was roosted against his chest, she looked to him with her large sad eyes, puffing up her cheeks as he stroked some of her blonde locks behind her teeny ear. 

“Thea,” Bill said in a hushed tone, wanting her to hear him clearly but _not_ wake the other sleeping infant, “You know that waking up your sister by crying is the _most_ heinous of crimes.”

Thea whimpered and pressed her face into the spot where his arm met his shoulder, rubbing a curled fist against her cheek, as if to massage her jaw, to no avail. With how furiously she was rubbing it, he could only imagine the reason why, continuing to brush her hair back as he contemplated what it could have been. 

“Ohhhh,” He uttered when an idea finally came to mind, “Your gums still hurt, don’t they?” 

Another whimper came from his arm and he pouted himself, wrapping her pink and white polka dot around her back like a sling and standing up to pad to the kitchen. Somewhere in the freezer they were bound to have one of those gel teething rings unthawed, keeping a few on hand at all times because both twins decided to start teething late _and_ at the same time. Juggling a one year old on his hip while rooting through the freezer in a darkened kitchen during the middle of the night probably wasn’t the best idea but duty— _daddy_ duty if you will— calls when you least expect it so he was making do, scouring through bags of Totino's rolls and boxes of Hot Pockets to find one measly teething ring. Luckily, he found one as soon as he stood on his tiptoes and shoved his arm all the way to the back, grasping it with a death grip so it didn’t fumble out of his fingers and gently urging it into a confused Thea’s mouth. 

“There you go, Little T. It must suck to be a baby, huh?” Bill chuckled, trying not to wince as the brush of cold against his t-shirt as her head laid on his shoulder. 

Her nose was still a little stuffed but her crying had finally ceased and she seemed content just closing her eyes as she chewed the plastic ring and let the bitter chill sink into her raw gums. Feeling somewhat parched himself, Bill pried open the fridge door with his fingernails and one-handedly unscrewed the cap of one of their fifteen half empty bottles of water, taking a few sips before the cold hurt his stomach and he replaced the bottle, softly closing the door with his foot. It would have been a straight path from the kitchen back to the couch had he not felt eyes boring into him the second he stepped foot outside of the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks. Billie was now standing in her crib and staring at him with a wide few-toothed grin, eyes as warm as chocolate, even in the shadowy living room. Bill drew in a sharp breath, questioning what he should do about this predicament, inevitably nestling her into his free arm and once again descending onto the sofa, Thea docile and languid while Billie squirmed like the worm she is. 

“Ah, come on, Little B,” Her father howled as her foot jabbed into his liver, “ _Not_ cool, duder.” 

In a way, he was regretting having finally worked off his baby weight, between dog tail whips and football punter children, but it was already too late to want it back so he just adjusted Billie on his thigh until all of her long limbs were out of his side and folded in front of her. It was fortunate his lap was big enough for both of his growing girls but it was making him sentimental all over again. Their birthday had just passed the week before, on the 27th of March, and he was on the verge of tears all day because of how much he missed them being tiny, always swaddled in their own arms and legs during the first few days out of the womb, unused to the freedom to move without being packed against their sister yet only being able to sleep properly while laying next to each other and being able to grab for each other if they needed the extra security. However, he was having the most excellent time watching them blossom into their own miniature human beings, twins in most respects of their personalities but also embodying some of the traits that were unique to the parent they took after in looks. His heart melted more as one of Thea’s hands latched onto the one secured around her and Billie’s burst of energy seemed to dwindle, pressing her forehead into the crook of his neck as if she were seconds from falling asleep there. 

Despite the risk of them tipping over, he turned on the cushion and slowly eased himself onto his back, not surprised when pint-sized hands gripped his shirt, and laid his head on the armrest, knowing they’d be right back to sleep in minutes if he laid down with them, especially because he apparently had some sort of superpower when it came to placating them and getting them to rest (one of the doctors said something about a maternal bond or whatever, but he preferred to think he was like Clark Kent). Thea was the first to fall asleep, having tired herself out from relieving her pain, whilst Billie tried her best to hold a staring contest with her father until her eyelids drooped closed, long eyelashes splayed across her cheeks. Bill grinned to himself when he was sure they were fully unconscious, proud that he had done it again, and glanced around for a clock or any sense of the time, not having bothered to look as he left the bedroom. It had to at least have been twenty minutes after he crawled out of bed but otherwise, it was too early into the morning for his out-of-whack circadian rhythm to give him a clear answer. Regardless, he let out a yawn as he felt it roll up from the back of his throat and told himself he’d lay there for another five minutes or so before depositing them in their cribs and going back to bed— assuming Brody hadn’t taken his spot. 

In the morning, Ted frowned when he realized that the only weight and source of heat he felt in bed was Brody, as happy to see him as every other morning. After a few pets and pats, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and crept across the floor, quietly opening the door since he had a feeling Bill was still fast asleep. He tried not to snort when he noticed the position the couch occupants were laying in— the girls looking like they were playing soccer in their dreams, legs kicked away from themselves and crossing the other’s, and Bill’s head head being thrown over his shoulder, miniscule line of drool traced from his bottom lip down to his chin. Scratching at the scruff he started growing when they became dads and forfeited their own self care, Ted pondered whether or not to wake his partner, eventually concluding it was best to leave him be and start a nice breakfast for everyone to wake up to. 

**Author's Note:**

> and helloooo to those who stayed :-) i hoped you enjoyed this attempt at softness :-) this family gives me a lot of serotonin :-)


End file.
